Harry Potter and the Ghost with the Most
by Ceara Ivory
Summary: The title should be pretty obvious to those who have ever seen the cartoon, Beetlejuice. When Voldemort attacks the Deetz's while on vacation, Harry becomes acquainted with the Ghost with the Most, Beetlejuice.
1. Chapter 1

-1Harry Potter and the Ghost With the Most

Written by Chibikan

Summary: Another crossover from my whacked out imagination, when the Deetz's go on vacation to London with their gothic daughter Lydia, and Voldemort decides to attack, Harry gets the chance to become acquainted with the most power specter from the Neitherworld. Does Beetlejuice hold the key to disposing of Voldemort once and for all?

Prologue:

Lydia Deetz, a young woman just about to enter into her senior year at high school, with long graceful black hair and pale skin, trudged dolefully into her room, slamming the door. It wasn't fair, it just wasn't, not at all. She flung herself down on the bed, mourning the ruin of her fun-filled summer. It wasn't fair!

"Hey babes," came a familiar voice called to her.

Lydia didn't even look up. "Hello BJ."

Beetlejuice peered out from her mirror. "Gee, Lyds, why the long face?" Instantly his face elongated to an exaggerated length.

"My parents are going to London, and they're making me go too." She punched her pillow violently. "I'll be gone all summer and I won't get to see you while I'm there."

"WHAT!" The ghoul's eyes popped, literally, out of his head. They rolled onto the floor and blinked up at her. "All summer?!" He reached out of the mirror and picked his eyes up and placed them back in their sockets.

Lydia nodded. "Yeah, they want the entire family to be together since I graduate this year and am going away to college." She sat up. "I guess I can understand that, but…I'd rather be here." She would hate being unable to get away from her parents and go to the Neitherworld for a whole summer. And worse, she wouldn't even be able to summon Beetlejuice there. She couldn't let her parents find out about him or she'd never be able to see him again. She'd hate that even worse than going to London for three months. "It's not fair."

Beetlejuice couldn't even begin to think of a summer without his best friend. "I know it babes, that's even worse than being chased by a dozen sandworms in the Neither-Neitherworld." And that was saying something, since the thing he feared most was sandworms. Well, that and taking a bath. Well, those two plus another fear that topped both of those, the fear of losing Lydia. But better a summer than a lifetime, or after-lifetime in his case. He noticed how upset and dejected she was. He needed to be upbeat, for her sake. "But it's only a few months. The time'll go by fast." He hoped he was right. The last time he'd been unable to see her nearly killed him, if only he could have died twice. "And you can bring me back a present." He wiggled his eyebrows with a grin.

Lydia couldn't help but smile. Beetlejuice always knew how to cheer her up. "You're right Beej. It's not forever and who knows, maybe it'll be fun."

Author's note: Yes, another crossover with a classic cartoon from my childhood. Don't worry, we'll see Harry in the second chapter at the very least. I have big plans for this.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One: A Threat Worse Than Death

It had only been a few days since their arrival in England, London to be exact. And Lydia was already missing her best friend terribly. Yes, London was a very nice place. There were many famous landmarks and museums and old churches to visit, so much culture and art, but…without her best friend, it just felt empty and cold.

Even the food at this fancy British restaurant tasted bland compared to the fare she could have "enjoyed" in the Neither World.

She had never realized how much she depended on him. Never realized how important he was to her everyday life, until now when he wasn't there. Why was she just now recognizing it? Why was he so important to her? He was her best friend but it wasn't like she'd never see him again. Why did it feel so wrong to be apart from him, even for a few days, or months.

"Lydia, dear," broke in the voice of her overbearing stepmother, Delia, "You shouldn't play with your food."

Absently, she nodded. She picked up her fork to take a bite, but couldn't bring herself to. It was good, the shepherd's pie, but she just didn't want it. She didn't want to eat. She wanted to see her best friend. She was miserable.

Charles Deetz, her father, glanced at her worriedly, "Are you alright, pumpkin?" he asked her. "You've hardly eaten anything in the last few days."

Again she nodded blankly. She looked over to the bathroom, "Yeah, Dad, I'm fine. I'm…just gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back in a few minutes." She stood up and casually walking to the ladies' room that she prayed would be a single.

It was. Quickly, she locked the door and eyed her prize, the mirror. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed to talk to him, to see him. With the mirror she could at least do just that. She didn't need to go to the Neither World.

"Beetlejuice?" she called quietly and tentatively, hoping it would work. It should work, it worked everywhere else. "Beej, you there?"

"LYDS!" came the happy cry of her best friend as he appeared in the mirror. It looked as though he had been waiting for her call.

She shushed him quickly, "Don't shout, I snuck into the girls' room to talk to you. But we have to be quiet so no one finds us."

He nodded, just so glad to be able to talk to her. "So how's it goin' babes?" he asked her. "Your sanity make like a banana," For effect he changed himself into a banana and sliced himself in half, "And split?"

Lydia laughed, she loved his jokes, "I'm very close. It's only be a couple of days and I can't stand it! I mean, it's…it's a nice place and all. We've already seen Buckingham Palace, St. Paul's, Westminster Abbey, loads of famous landmarks, but…I don't know, all I want is to be there in the Neither World." She left the "with you" part unsaid.

The ghoul flashed back to his original appearance and shrugged, "Of course ya do, we got more action than those flesh bags any day of the week." He changed the subject, "Ya got my present yet?"

Oh, that Beetlejuice, he sure was a carefree sort, she had to laugh again. "Not yet, I need to do that when Dad and Delia aren't around." She needed to finish the conversation soon, before the aforementioned came looking for her. "I can't wait until this stupid vacation is over! I miss you Beej," she gasped, she hadn't meant to say that, even though it was true.

Beetlejuice felt a lump in his throat. She had never said anything like that before. He eyed her in a way that he had only looked at her once before, when he had first seen her asleep in her bed. Maybe, just maybe the thing he had thought impossible could just possibly happen. Maybe… "Yeah…I…I…" He stumbled over his words, something he only ever did if he was in terrible trouble or was in close contact with a Sandworm from the Neither-Neither World.

His stumbling was interrupted by an explosion outside of the bathroom. Lydia jumped, only just now becoming aware of the screams outside. A second explosion threw the door inward and revealed a masked man wearing a long black cloak.

Lydia couldn't keep her eyes from widening in shock as the man reached in and grabbed her by the wrist, roughly. "Let me go!"

The man cackled a wicked cackle, "Thought you could hide from your fate, muggle filth! I think you'll make a good plaything for our Lord,"

Unable to help her, having not been officially summoned, Beetlejuice could only stay out of sight in the mirror and watch helplessly as the masked figure dragged his Lyds, his babes, out of the bathroom. What was happening, he had to find out. He set out to searching, hoping there was another mirror where she was going, where he could keep an eye on her, and help her when she did summon him. He knew that she would summon him eventually.

AN: Sorry for the long break between the prologue and this chapter. I am also working on Chapter 2 as we speak.


	3. Chapter 3

-1Chapter 2: Those Three B's

The masked man dragged Lydia harshly out of the bathroom. Lydia struggled but honestly wasn't all that frightened. Her best friend was a six hundred year old ghost. She'd faced all kinds of things that would be called frightening by her real-world friends, monsters, skeletons, tap-dancing spiders. This was nothing.

But she couldn't hide a pained gasp when she saw the bodies of her dad and stepmother. Even though she knew she could still see them, it didn't make it any easier knowing that they had been killed by whoever these creeps were.

The man dragging her finally brought her before a tall, shrouded man. He pushed her down hard onto her knees. "Found another, Master, a muggle wench who thought she could hide from you."

The cloaked figure lowered his hood to reveal a snowy-white face. His flashing blood-red eyes regarded Lydia's strong expression. "I see,"

Lydia protested, "I wasn't hiding! It's a ladies' room, you know with a toilet meant for performing obligatory body movements!"

The red-eyed man chuckled evilly, "I also see you do not fear me. Although you can obviously figure out what is going to happen to you."

"Why should I be afraid of a snake?" she referred to his snake-slit nose and slit eyes.

Beetlejuice, having indeed found another mirror to watch her from, silently cheered. Inwardly, he was very worried for her. He knew, technically, he had nothing to worry about. Even if something happened to her, the worst that could happen would be she'd end up a permanent Neither-World resident. She practically lived there anyway. But, he liked her as she was, alive.

The snake-man's face contorted into a sneer, "You really don't fear me, how…refreshing." he took out his wand. "Let's see how loud you scream," he jabbed the wand at her, "CRUCIO!!"

Pain flooded her veins and muscles but she simply glared up at the man. "Is that supposed to hurt? I've felt worse!"

The evil man grit his teeth and put more power into the curse. "Worse! How's that for worse!" He was disconcerted when she still merely glowered at him. "Scream! SCREAM!"

Beetlejuice was the only one who knew that Lydia was indeed in pain. He could feel it himself. But until she called his name three times, there was nothing he could do, except watch.

"SCREAM!!" The Snake-Man demanded once more.

But Lydia would not give him that satisfaction. "You're nothing but a bully, preying on the fear and pain of others! But I am not afraid of you! Like I said, I've felt worse pain. I've seen scarier things than you could even dream about!"

Voldemort grit his teeth in anger, "You sure have a big mouth for someone who is about to die!" he lifted his wand of yew for the casting. "Anything else to say before you meet your maker?"

Now was the time, she decided, "You bet I do! Though I know I should be wary,"

The Dark Lord was taken aback. Strange words.

"Still venture something scary! Ghostly hauntings I turn loose."

Now the Death Eaters were getting wary themselves. A strange wind was blowing and the place had grown awful dark. Maybe this girl wasn't a muggle after all. Maybe they were threatening a goddess or something.

The ghoul wanted to cry out for joy as he heard the finish of that old chant of hers.

"Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! BEETLEJUICE!!"

And he did just that. He cackled deviously from his mirror just before preparing to enter the real world, "IT'S SHOW TIME!!"

AN: Okay, short, and not very good at writing torture scenes. But here is Beetlejuice! Next chapter is gonna be a funny one. Want a hint? Picture Voldemort in a spandex Calypso outfit.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3: Voldemort's Banana Boat

A strange eerie music filled the restaurant, putting all the Death Eaters on their guard. A cackle echoed with the music as a voice shouted with glee, "IT'S SHOW TIME!"

"Master?" asked Wormtail, "What is that?"

Voldemort glowered at the smirking girl, "You'll pay for mocking my men with your nonsense!" he raised his wand, "Avada…" His words were choked off as a figure rose up out of the floor. A man with lavendar skin, and lice-ridden dirty blonde hair.

The man held out his hand, "Hi there, name's Beetlejuice, The Ghost With the Most, hi, how ya doing?" he didn't wait for the Dark Lord to shake his hand, simply turned to Lydia, "Hey, Lyds. You called?"

Lydia knew he had been watching the entire time, Beetlejuice would never leave her side for long, even if it was just watching her through a mirror. she pointed to Voldemort, "He killed my parents and tried to kill me."

Beetlejuice turned with an evil grin that would have knocked the socks off Freddy Krueger, "Really?" he stepped over to the snake-man, "It seems no one told you the rules."

Voldemort growled, "And those would be?"

"Mess with my Lydia, mess with me." he floated and rested his elbow on Voldemort's shoulder, "And between you and me, no one messes with me and gets away with it. Lydia, can I please humiliate this chump?" he was going to do it anyway, but he wanted everyone to know that Lydia was the only one that could save any of them from his wrath.

Lydia nodded, "Be my guest."

Voldemort pointed his wand, "Just try it!" he opened his mouth wide to say the curse again. He froze as he heard something that he wanted to say wasn't him, "DAY-O!" Oh no, it was him. His voice reverberated, "DAY-O! Daylight come and me want go home," What was happening to him?

Beetlejuice zapped the Dark Lord. In a puff of a smoke he was wearing the same outfit as the Chiquita Banana girl, complete with bowl of fruit on his head. "Ha ha!"

"Me work all night gonna drink rum!"

Bellatrix turned to the Dark Lord, "Master?"

Beetlejuice juiced her too with a sadistic grin. With a poof she was in a Calypso dress shaking a pair of maracas.

Everyone of the victims laughed with vengeful delight as their torturers sang and dance to Harry Belefonte's "Banana Boat Song". Lydia about rolled on the floor with laughter. She wished she had her video camera.

Voldemort even shook his chest against his will. This was too much. How could this thing be controlling his body? "With six foot seven foot eight foot, BUNCH!"

Beetlejuice zapped their clothes completely off, ending the possession and the song. Voldemort looked down and screamed. It was hard to be fearsome while naked.

"DEATH EATERS! RETREAT!" he glared at Beetlejuice, "This isn't over!"

Beetlejuice laughed, "Gee, I hope not." he wiggled his eyebrows.

AN: Okay short and long overdue. I'm trying.


End file.
